It hurts without you by my side

I've had the last 3 days off and today is the 4th. I finally got my lazy butt outside to run. I'm such a wimp in the summer. I'm not a morning person by nature and if I wait to long, it's too hot to run. Actually Megan has early morning swim team practice, so I've been going to that instead of running. However, today is Saturday...no practice. BTW- I have done some running and not writing posts about it.

Did I mention that I'm home?

I'm also torn between two VERY DIFFERENT worlds. My job as a mother and my new career as a flight attendant. I love them both.

Of course my family comes first, but does that mean I can't do both? How am I going to do both without moving my family to Fresno? What is best for everyone? Cool is...well, COOL! and I don't want to leave here.

I set out this morning with all these things weighting heavily on my mind.

I ran Otter Trail and the route felt like an old friend. Nah, more like an old drill sergeant. However, it was easier than last year. I've dropped some weight since last year, so I guess that helps.

My mind wondered.

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?

I waited for an answer.

He said softly... You wanted to fly. I let you fly.

BUT LORD, I DON'T WANT TO STOP...NOT YET!

He replied...loosen your grip, kathy. Would you let it go for me? I'm not telling you to quit, but would you for me?

I almost stopped in my tracks. I wasn't sure. I thought this is where God had brought me. I believed this is where He put me...and He has, it's true.

With a pain in my heart, I reluctantly whispered...yes Lord.

Teach me to keep you first. You've never let me down and your way is always right, especially when I don't understand it. I know you'll work this all out. I trust in your light. Show me the open doors and give me the desire to walk through them.