I lift my eyes up

"I lift my eyes up unto the mountains, where does my help come from?"











The lingering odor of discarded hamburger wrappers and soggy rotted onions replaced the fresh crisp morning air. Yes, it's trash day.

I past the garbage truck and said, "morning" to the one driving it just as I was trying to get up the crazy steep hill on Otter Trail.

Only in the summer do I ever get a glimpse of these anonymous men who collect the trash. Winter cloaks them in darkness.

I thought I was doing horrible as far as time goes, but when I got back to the house I noticed that I was only gone for 30 minutes. That's it. And the last 5 of those minutes I walked and stretched. I must be getting faster, but I can't feel it.

Unfortunately what I did feel today was pain. Pain in my right shin. It became apparent on the last turn around the park. I saw my neighbor, Wayne, and that's about when each step became magnified with sharp pulses of electric shock.

I sprinted (because I do that) across my finish line and wobbled back and forth 3 times.

Pain.
Dang it!!

I will take the next 2 days off. That's all I will give it. 2 days of water, water, water, ice and stretches. Then I'm going to dig in my closet in search of those inserts I used to have for my old running shoes. I can' t believe I've used up the cushioning in my new shoes yet! Hmm, when did I get these?

"Oh how I need you Lord, you are my only hope, you're my only prayer. So I will wait for you to come and rescue me. Come and give me life."

Take me in

"Take me past the outer courts into the Holy place, past the blazing alter, Lord I want to see your face. Take me past the crowds of people, the priest who sings your praise, I hunger and thirst for your righteousness, but it's only found in one place. Take me in to the holy of holies, take me in by the blood of the lamb." Take me in, Kutless

There is another reason I've been running so much. I think I'm running to get closer to God. Yeah, go ahead and laugh, but it's true. I want to burn my butt and my soul!!

Gold goes through the fire to be made pure. When it emerges from the fiery pits, cruddy black specks of imperfection sinks and what you are left with is bright shiny yellow gold. A beautiful thing.
You have to get hot. You have to burn. You have to suffer a little...to shine.

I am not perfect. But I am willing to walk through the fire to become more like Christ.

Today I ran Westville Trail. I could go into today's run, but I won't because Saturday was much more interesting.

The day before (Saturday the 16th) we were at the cabin and I ran down to the lake. This time I ran across the levee thinking it would reach back to the street. It did...almost. First I had to walk across a few rocks (more like 25) and hope I wouldn't fall into the creek.
Once I reached the other side, I found a trail. The trail lead me up a dusty hillside. Ahh, finally the street. Except it wasn't the street I thought it was going to be. I kept running. You can't really get lost here. But the realized I was getting further and further away from the lake. Our cabin is somewhere on the other side...
So everytime I came to another street, I just turned right. After 3 turns I arrived back at the lake. Thank goodness!

Have to go now, swim team in 30 minutes.

Better is one day

"Better is one day in your courts, better is one day in your house, better is one day in your courts than thousands elsewhere."

So true. I'd rather be in the presence of God than anywhere else that could possibly exist. If you are one of those people who think, God? right! Gimmie a break! Then I feel sorry for you. You have no idea how extraordinary it is. Overwhelming sense that all is right, all is good, nothing can harm you. Why can't you see him? He's right there!! His spirit is speaking! Listen you fool.

I guess what I've heard is true.

A wise man can learn from a fool, but a fool can learn nothing from the wise.

Today I ran Otter Trail.

I ran at a normal pace and felt the burn in my butt. It made the run harder, but I smiled the whole time. I just know this is working.
What's working? Trying to make your butt smaller?
Well yeah, that...but mostly I want to condition myself. I want to enter a real race someday. For some reason finding a cure for breast cancer is on my mind. I don't know why...I don't know anyone in my family or friends circle with breast cancer. Yet, it strikes a cord with me. Maybe it's just the fact that it can attack any woman at any time that scares me. It threatens to take away our mothers, daughters, sisters, spouses.

Okay I have to go shower now. Man, it's so hot already!

I'll be at the cabin this weekend. Hopefully Denise will want to go for a run around the lake with me.

Lovin it

It's working! I'm getting up earlier...or at least easier.

Still I wasn't out of the house until after 6:30, but I'm getting better. Hopefully by the time the kids start back at school, I'll be getting up easily at 5:30!!!

I ran Westville & Pointed Rocks.

It was a fresh, sunny morning. The usual wildlife dawned my attention...birds, deer, turkey, cats, dead snakes in the road...

I waved at 2 security workers and noticed that when my fingers dangle instead of curled up into fists, people driving by think I'm waving at them. They, in turn, wave at me.
What a nice girl...so friendly!

My muscles are getting stronger. This I know because of the burn. I am running more frequently these days and my body is having to get used to it. A burning sensation in the back of my legs means I'm pushing them. Pushing hurts, but results in stronger muscles or sometimes injured muscles. I'm rooting for strength. I can tell the difference. It's all in the burn. Burn is good...but flat out "damn this feels like the worst bruise ever" is pain. Pain signals injury.

I don't feel pain. I feel burn. Push it Kathy, push yourself harder!
That is what I hear.
That is what gets me out of bed.
The burn.
I could live without this mornings half a banana floating in my throat...but hey, ya take the good with the bad.

Ignore the bad. Focus on good.

7 runs so far this month! Not to shabby. Let's bump it up a notch...or 2.
I'm so loving this!

More Water, More God

Praise the Lord!
His Love is deeper than oceans are high!

I ran to Second Gate.

More Water...
It was tough. I lived in a constant state of fatigue with an occasional burst of determination. The weather here has been 100+ degrees. Yesterday I spent hours cleaning and the garage with only 2 bottles of water. Apparently that wasn't enough because today I had to really push it.

Now, I'm downing it. I've already had 2 bottle this morning! Way to go Kath!! *Pat on back*

More God...
The other day while I was in Border's, I bought a new CD.
Kutless, Strong Tower
They are a Christian rock band from Oregon. I really like them. If you haven't checked out this genre of music lately, you should. Much has changed. It's not your typical gospel music anymore. It sounds so much like pop and rock that my daughter begged me to buy her the Everlife cd without even knowing they were a Christian rock band. She loves them, and of course I bought it for her. Dah.
Mixed with many other praise & worship songs on my ipod, I ran happily along, raising my hands to heaven every now and then, just because I'm grateful. Grateful to be running. Grateful to be living in this beautiful place. Grateful to be healthy. Grateful that I know God. Grateful that God knows me.

A few things about today's run...
There are a lot of people out. In their cars, walking and running.
I saw that same girl from the other day...(the one who is a lifeguard). She came up behind me just after I turned at second gate. She got a length ahead of me, but I managed to keep her in sight. I thought she would turn onto Otter trail, but instead she stopped at the park. I kept going. I would have said "way to go", but she was across the street with her body turned away from me when I passed by. I guess it's easier to say something when there is eye contact made first.
I like seeing my shadow. Even though the sun feels hot on my back, it helps to see my shadow. I remind myself not to slouch, keep my feet straight and maintain a rhythmic motion of my arms while keeping in sync with my overall pace. It all has to work as one movement. Mentally, that's just the way I need to see it or I feel out of balance.

Yikes! It's after 8! Swim team in in less than 30 Minutes!!!!!

Easier today

I got up and out of the house by 6:45.

I ran Westville Trail, the usual way.

I used the shuffle selection on my ipod, but found that I skipped many of today's choices. However, I do enjoy this sort of "never know what you're going to get" playlist. Could be Christian Gospel/Rock....or Duran Duran's "Bedroom Toys". Who knows!
If it doesn't strike my fancy...skip it.
I have a tendency to listen to the same songs over and over until I'm so sick of them that it takes months before I can stand hearing them again.
This way I might actually get around to listening to all the weird stuff I put on that little mini.

Things that happened today...
I waved at a neighbor.
I noticed the hedges on the crazy steep hill are growing out into the road again.
A cluster of birds took off from the middle of the street and one of them almost hit me. What am I? A car?
3 houses I've watched being built over the last year now have people living in them.
2 old ladies with trousers up to their bra were looking for their golf balls in a tall patch of weeds.
Two guys in a silver Toyota 4 runner gave me the thumbs ups (which I assumed meant "way to go") after I ran across the street in front of them at top speed. It was, after all, my sprint to the finish line.

As far as I can go

I wanted to run to third gate today. I wanted a shot at the moon. I wanted to know what it would feel like to run as far as I possibly could. To push myself until I fell. Where is that line?

The line that says, "That's it girl. That's all you've got."

I want to cross that line, walk it out and start over. It's the wall I want to find...so I can climb over it.

Not today.

On July 20th Brydon will have surgery. It will last 3-6 hours. They will break his jaw. He will be wired shut for 4? weeks, I think. The consult appt. is next week. That's when I'll get much more detailed info.

The reason I just told you all that has to do with golf. MB LOVES golf. He is very good at it. I am always left speechless when he drives the ball. Where did it go? A few seconds later I watch it fall from the sky and land with a bounce on the green somewhere near the pin.

Today he wanted to go out and play golf with the guys.
I wouldn't have enough time to run as far as third gate without leaving the children at home for way to long.
His time is limited, he should get in as much golfing as he can right now.

So, challenging myself will have to come another day.

Instead, I ran around Otter trail and then out to second gate and back.

With my new short haircut, it was much easier. No long thick ponytail getting wrapped around my ipod cord, weighting me down and whipping my back. Good. At least for running this hair do will be perfect!

On sweetwater trail, almost to second gate, I saw another girl running towards me. I've seen her at the pool. I think she's a lifeguard. I said "hi" and "good job!". She smiled and replied "you too!"

We passed each other and I wondered how she could be out here running without music??
On the way back, I had just finished going up then down a semi-large hill when I saw her again coming towards me. We sort of giggled and this time I put both fists in the air to encourage her. "Way to go! You're doing great!"
"So are you!"

Yes I am, I thought. Yes, I am.

I didn't stop. Slow sometimes, but never stopped. My legs burned on the hills that seemed to go on an incline forever, but I didn't stop. My lungs expanded to the size of balloons and I knew they couldn't handle one more measure of oxygen, but I didn't stop. I pushed myself today, but not hard enough to fall.
Where's the line?

Don't worry- I'll find it...and when I do, I'll tell you all about it.

New assortment of songs- a shuffle. Who knew running to Phantom of the Opera could be so cool?

Cramps

Men are lucky they don't have to deal with this.

I woke up this morning with cramps. My period is starting and all the muscles in my pelvis have gone on strike.

Mind over matter...and body.

"I won't let this stop me!" I definently said to myself.
20 minutes later I was dressed and ready. I didn't bother eating. I didn't mess with my ipod, I just turned it on and let it go.

I ran Otter Trail.

By the time I got to the park, my cramps were gone. Funny thing about running...every pain you were feeling while you were still disappear and are sometimes replaced with new ones you had no idea you could feel. But as soon as you stop, the old familiar aches come back. It's like taking a break, a slice of time to focus on something else. I don't feel pain anymore when I'm running. Perhaps I've mentally programmed my mind to concentrate on the most inspiring reasons for running. The air, sky, wildlife, etc. Therefore I don't feel the pain that might actually exist. Your mind can do anything. It can block pain...or increase it. I choose to block it. Hmm? I should try that while I'm NOT running. Can I block it all the time? Sure, I don't see why not. Although it sounds hard to do...like trying to hold up an elephant with one arm. That could be my problem. My perception is that blocking pain is hard. Maybe it's not. It's only hard because I think it would be hard. What if I truly believed it were an easy thing to do? Like picking up a kitten?

Was that confusing? Sorry.

Today on my run I saw a cat. This cat had a huge rat in it's mouth. It reminded me of last night. Last night I went into the garage and almost stepped onto a dead mouse. Actually it was half of a dead mouse. I suspect Danny (our cat who just had kittens) brought it home as a teaching tool for her babies.
"Look kittens...mommy has something to show you. This is a mouse. They are fast and fun to catch. They smell good. We can rip them apart with our sharp claws...go ahead, give it a try."

I think the other half is behind the dryer. yuck.

Worth the effort.

I have never been much of a morning person. So getting myself out of bed at 6am (for any reason) is tough. But with 100+ degree weather...I either get up at 6 or wait until 8:30pm to go running. I've already proved that high noon is suicide; unnecessary pain.
However the mornings are beautiful and with a run like today, I'm filled with hope that this could be my best day.

I ran Westville, Pointed Rocks & Paymaster. In that order.

I listen to all the songs on my playlist and had to start it over again. Hard to mess with the ipod when you're running, but still doable. I guess I need to add a few songs to that one.

Before I even got off my street, I got attacked by Izzy. That's our neighbor's dog. She is a sweet golden lap. Clenched in her mouth was a half eaten tennis ball and I knew what that meant.
Play with me!
So I threw the ball one time and told Dub (her owner) that I needed to get out and run before the girls go to swim practice.

It was a good solid run. No urgent pain that would require me to stop. I just ran. A couple times, once on pointed rocks and the other on American River trail, I really picked up the pace and moved. However on Paymaster my left arm started throbbing. I shook it out and it stopped. My right side ribs ached a bit, but I won't call that "pain."

On paymaster I saw a baby fawn. Must have just been born recently. It still had spots. Unusual to have a deer born this late in the season.

Lots of deer out this morning. I guess I'm just never up this early to see it.

Overall, I think I enjoy evening running better than early morning.
Still, I'm going to make myself do this everyday. I want to get better at this. I want to train my body. Mind over matter...and getting out of bed to run is worth the effort.
I must train myself to become a morning person...and I will. I too stubborn not to.

It's in the doing...not the posting

I've run twice since I've written a post about it.

Last Wednesday I ran late. It was almost dark when I left the house. I ran Otter Trail. Then I stopped at my friends house for 2 reasons...1. I noticed that she left her car door open, and 2. I needed to talk with her regarding swim team. She is the president.

It was a nice run. Much better than the day before. Although I got in trouble when I failed to return home. Opps!

My second run was Saturday morning while we were at the cabin. I got up early (7am) and was out there running by 7:30. There is something so special about that time in the morning. The air was cool and fresh. The sky was crystal blue. A new day was happening, just like He promised.

I got to try out my new headphones. They work GREAT! What I like best is that the cord hangs down my back. Now it doesn't get in the way of my arms. My hands can't accidently hook on the cord and yank the buds out of my ears. YEAH!! One less distraction.

I ran down Valley View until I came to a fork in the road. I can't remember the name, but I turned left and followed it around the lake. This is a nice route because I don't have to go back the way I came. I can make a loop.
At the cabin there are spots where the sun never touches the bumpy pavement. Bumpy from the winter snow plows and completely shaded by the ridiculously tall pine trees. You ARE in a forest. You are in Calaveras County.
If a dog barks, everyone will know because the sound of his voice echos. Don't bother with cell phones, internet or pagers...they won't work here.
Walk your dog, read a book, relax on the beach or do like I do...run. Breath in deep and thank God for blue skies, glassy waters and green trees.

One down side...mosquitos. They are vicious! You will need deet.

Tomorrow I will try to post some pictures of the lake. Lakemont Pines.
You'll have to go to Wavelength for that.