FINALLY!

well it's about dang time! A week! That's way to long...

I've got some excuses...don't we all?

Sick, busy, it was raining to hard.

Sure I could use any of those and I wouldn't be lying, but the thing that bugs me the most is that I really wanted to run. I couldn't wait for the cards to all fall into place. I hate being sick, busy is what you say when it's not a high priority and raining?? oh Please, I love a good run in the rain.

The truth is I just didn't do it. I didn't try hard enough to get out there.

Today, ahhh, I left 6 snoring girls sleeping in their bags downstairs and tuned in the ipod. My daughter had a sleepover party last night. Her birthday celebrations always manage to spread out the entire week.
I ran Otter Loop. I jogged most the way. It was pretty easy. Nothing hurt. I didn't even get that winded. Nausia was nowhere to be found, not even on the uphill. Did I stop? Nope, I told you, today it was easy.
I picked up the pace on the second half. Just before I was done, I saw one the girls who had spent the night. I waved. When I got home my husband said Rachel's mom came to get her. I replied, "I know, I saw them."

I didn't sweat. I feel like going out and running another route. I wish I could.

running from my thoughts

new song to ipod "Harder to Breathe" by Maroon 5

song in my head...
is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe...

Usually I can get almost anything out of my head by running. Forced out, literally, by my own breath.

Today it didn't work.

I still have those crappy, lousy, pissy, kicked a million times in the gut... thoughts. UHHH!!

GO AWAY ALREADY, SHIT.

Anyone have some advice for me? How do you stop yourself from dwelling on the past?

Let's try this post over.

Hi Everyone :-) see my smile!

I had a great run today. I ran Westville to Pointed Rocks to American River to Paymaster back to American River to home.
I didn't stop. It took me 28.8 minutes. The weather is great. I saw 4 women walking with their kids in strollers, 1 biker, 6 deer, and 2 women on horseback. Also 2 construction sites. New houses going up all the time. Fortunately the lot sizes were set 30 years ago and can't be split. So there is a limit to how much new growth can happen here. I don't know why people would want to build in this community. We are a 3500 acre gated community. You have to pay a fee for everything. EVERYTHING. Want to fence your property? Better be the right kind. Submit a design, get it approved and pay. Need a new paint job? Better be one of the approved colors...submit your request, wait and pay. Lots of rules, we get a new guide book every year.

Lots of people hate these restrictions, but I guess I don't really mind. It keeps the place looking nice. You don't have to stare at old cars in a field getting rusty. Plus we have great facilities. A golf course, a library, pools, lakes, clubs, trails, a workout room (I never use), and security wave at me when I'm running.
It feels like an active retirment community for the young middle class America. Besides, over half the people who live in this town, live in here. My friends, my realtor, the lady I buy pizza from, my exterminator...even the couple we bought this house from, live within a few miles from me. Each day I wave to at least 3 people I know just taking my kids to school. I like that. I like people.

Last week while I was driving my kids to AWANA, the car in front of me hit a truck that pulled out in front of her. He didn't have his lights on and she didn't see him. Luckily I stopped in time so I didn't hit her. I got out to help. So did Jeanie (a friend of mine who also saw the accident). Jeanie hugged the lady and we prayed. Her car was totaled. She was really shaken up. I was surprised that the only injury was a cut on her son's finger. The driver of the truck... I knew him. His daughter is in the same class as mine. I didn't know the lady all that well, but I'd seen her before. They were all on their way to the same place I was going. The Church.

It's a small town.

Well, that worked. Got my mind off those bad, pull you to the ground and squish you like a bug thoughts.

Thanks.

Easy Breezy...Beautiful

Do you ever feel like you can't live up to your own expectations?

The sun is shining. The sky is pure blue. Temps in the 60's. It's a beautiful day. This should be easy...a piece of cake, right?

well, not exactly. I set out with the mind set...I'm just running Otter Loop, no problem...

For that I think God laughed and decided to push me.

I knew I was going slower than normal, so I thought about marathon runners and how they manage to keep a fast pace.

How do they do it??
They make it look so easy.
Sure, I've been building up my lung capacity, but maybe that's not enough?

I've developed a theory.
They must make a conscious decision while running to lengthen their stride. At each run they must lengthen a little more until they appear to the rest of us, that they are running on pure determination, focused.

I want that.
I want to take longer strides.
I don't want to "jog". I want to run. I want to hurt. I want to push it.
I want to know just how much I can do, and I want that result to amaze me.

I tried it. On the way back, while coming around the park, I lengthend my legs. I took longer steps. I was afraid that I would get tired faster and not be able to go the distance without stopping. That is my worst fear- that I will stop. It feels like failure. BIG FAT FAILURE.
Can't have that.

I surprised myself- I didn't stop. I did feel like hurling.
I don't want to get cauky, though I was today.

Thank You God for humbling me. Help me to be strong.

I DID IT!

Give me a pat on the back!

I ran Down American River Trail, up Pointed Rocks, around Westville and back home...

WITHOUT STOPPING!

That's right hobo! UP POINTED ROCKS! YEAH! I can't stop smiling. Did someone slap me on the back??

I'm getting better. I've never gone up that street without stopping...not ALL the way up at least, and then to keep going and finish in the same pace...wow. Thank You God, Thank You God.

I even sprinted the end.

I don't have a lot of ups and downs in my life, metaphorically speaking, so literal ones are welcome. Some of you know I am going through a bit of a struggle right now...but let's keep things positive, shall we...

Snow covered Lake

I woke up this morning to the dripping sound of melting snow. It was falling from the roof outside my window of our small, but cozy, family vacation cabin.
The sun is shining.
I could go out and run.
I did bring the right clothes and I didn't hurt myself skiing yesterday.
There really wasn't a reason not to.

So I did.
But I didn't really want to.

The snow is piled high on both sides of the streets which made me a little uncomfortable (especially since I'm currently reading a book where a lady is killed by car while she is out jogging "Bend in the Road"). But the pavement itself didn't look that icy and I haven't been able to run since Wednesday...
I ended up convincing myself that I would be fine. I'll just run down to the lake and back around. I hate to back track, and this route provides a full circle.

Our cabin is located in an area called "The Big Trees". The trees ARE big, the air smells fresh and the sky is blue.

I clicked onto a playlist I call "Wavelength 3" of my ipod and set out. The air was warmer than I thought it would be. I couldn't see my breath.
I didn't see any animals. I didn't see any people.
I ran past other cabins and thought about how much I love this place.

I wished I could have been here when the snow was new, instead of seeing it cast aside, corrupted by time. I stretched out my glance to study the blanket of white that appeared to touch every branch and every rock.
It reminded me of that Dr. Suess book- "The cat in the hat comes back."
I wondered if there were any bored children starring out there windows today.

The road steadily wrapped and curved until I found myself gazing upon a pristine sight. A large open spans of virgin snow. The lake had been made clean. Tall green and white trees peppered the icy banks and quietly calmed the once noisy beaches of summer.

A sadness crept into my heart as I began to run away from nature's natural beauty.
I made my way up a slight incline, past a few "A framed" houses, not wanting the adventure to end.
But all to soon... it did.

I sprinted the moment my vehicle came into view. I stretched my arms and legs.

I picked up a nearby snow shovel to remove a pile of dog poop before it could do any damage.

I smiled, looking back into the wilderness, knowing my soul is protected from wolves.
I am part of this world as much as a tree is part of the dirt.

If you're fine, then you're fine. I am okay...

Sun, Sun, how I've missed You @

Have you noticed that this symbol... @ looks like a sun? Does to me.

no Kathy, this is a sun *. Well I'm writing this post and I say @ looks more like a sun!

What is going through my brain today that I would argue about such nonsense with myself??. Sorry- I'm a bit scrambled tonight. ;-)

Anywho- I decided to run this afternoon because the sun feels soooo good. It's been raining like the shower around here and I'm ready for some of those warm golden rays to penetrate my skin!

I went with the old stand by, Otter Trail. Yes, I ran it without stopping. Funny though, running in the afternoon or evening used to be hard. It used to feel like I had extra weights tied around my ankles. Not anymore.

I'm in a good mood, though my husband is in some serious pain. He got his braces adjusted today and now his vision is blurry. I feel so sorry for him. I hope I can get him to go to bed early tonight. He needs the rest.

"One Determined Lady"

That's what he called me. Our realtor lives on Last Chance Court (don't ya love the names of streets around here...) and her husband saw me running today. I had to pull the headphones out of my ears to hear him. He rolled down the window of his beat up old ford truck, wiped the rain off his face and yelled out "you are one determined lady!"

I smiled and said "Yeah, I love it."

Determination is the ability to be your own trainer. That's what I think. That inward desire to push, crawl, cry, fight, move....despite the pain of it all. But where does it really come from? Some would just say...deep inside your soul. I suppose. I know my soul was formed by God. So therefore my logic leads me the fact that determination was given to me by God. Did I just say I know my soul was formed by God? Yes, I did. How do you know for sure, Kathy? That's a long story (my testimony I guess). Let's just say I know, Okay.

I have discovered the more you feed your drive, after rebounding from failure, after pushing past the daunting rhut of safety, there is pleasure. Success of a goal achieved. The desire for a new goal, the will to make a mountain and the tempting challenge to climb it. Life is not getting closer to death, it's getting closer to the top. Closer to the joy. Closer to the Lord. Gotta keep running.

For the record...I crossed American River at the bottom of my street and started up Westville Trail. I ran down Pointed Rocks and back up American River to my original starting point (my street).
Nice run today. Lot of thought.

new songs to ipod..."Breakaway" by Kelly Clarkson
"Undone" by Owsley (this was a free download on itunes last week, finally a good one!).

Otter Trail

Last one for Otter. All the street signs are marked this way. Posts. I come around this corner and back onto American River to head back home. At this point I feel pretty good. I've just finished the hard part. From here on now it's GRAVY baby!

Otter Trail

More of Otter Trail. I included this one, because it is my favorite stretch in the route. The horses that I wave to (Fred & Wilma) are around the corner and off to the right. Many people around here have horses.

Steep Hill on Otter Trail

See, it doesn't look that bad, huh? Okay- you run it! It keeps going past that white house...

American River Trail

This is the street (American River Trail) that gets me to all the other routes I run. You see the large house on top of the hill? That sits on Otter Trail. I almost get that high, but not quite. I included this picture, because the next one doesn't do it justice for how steep it really is.

My Street

Lets start at the beginning. This is the crazy steep hill that I live on. We have a great view (it will be better when we can get more brush cleared away!)

Click on any picture to see it larger.

Just do it!

Whatever genius came up with that slogan, had to be an athlete. Sometimes you just have to put up or shut up.
I had several excuses for not running today....my head still hurts, I wasn't sure if a friend needed my help today or not (thinking I should wait around for him...), the house is messy, I would like to finish my scrapbook project from yesterday, I haven't written a word of my story in over a week...it goes on and on.
There are soooo many other things we could think of to do than exercise. However, I love it. No really, I do. I don't mean to say that it doesn't hurt- IT DOES, but it feels better than it hurts. Just do it...

Just do it......often.

I ran the Westville Loop. I did it without stopping. Yes, ALL of it without stopping. You know how I brag that I can run up the "crazy steep Otter hill" without stopping? Well the Westville hill gives me more bragging rights, because it's even steeper. I almost always stop on it. You get to what you think is the top, then turn the corner and go up an even steeper grade. Man- I need to get some pictures on here!!
Put up or shut up, Kathy!
Okay- I'll shut up about the hills until you can see for yourself.

song in my head right now...."Shut Up" by Simple Plan

Good thing...

...I ran Otter Loop backwards.

It was getting late in the day. Already 4:00. I can't run tomorrow and Tuesday morning I'm working in my daughter's classroom. If I'm going to run, I'd better do it now!

So I threw on my shorts, a great big sweatshirt and made sure my ipod had enough power. It's raining again (snowing earlier), but I don't care. I do care that it's cold! Oh well. I'll only be freezing for about 3 minutes anyway.

It was a pretty normal run. My leg hurt, but I pushed through it and liberated my mind.

I still need to post some pictures on here, don't I?? I would, but it's not like I take a camera with me! Jeez. I'll need to drive it and snap some shots.

Cheerio :-)